The Universe.. Synchronicity..

We all know that there are consequences for everything we do - both good and bad. If you drink too much you will probably get a hangover, neglect your teeth and you'll have to visit the dentist, live on junk food and you'll more than likely get fat. Those ones are easy to spot, and I'm sure everyone reading this page has learned these lessons at an early stage along with many many others. Sometimes we don't understand why life is treating us badly - we say I'm working hard, I'm harming no-one, but I can't seem to break free from this rut.

Whenever you appear to be stuck and you just can't achieve that thing you want to do you begin to feel overwhelmed and helpless. You start looking round at the people in your life and blaming them for your unhappiness. Your parents, your partner, your boss, your friends can seem to be conspiring to keep you where you don't want to be. You are wrong - the only person keeping you where you are is yourself, you just don't realise it. There is something which you are doing, or in some cases not doing, which is creating this problem.

It is at this point that you should step back and stop fighting the situation, take some time out and ask yourself "What Must I Learn From This?" There is always a lesson, and with practice you can spot it. Strangely as soon as you understand clearly your problem will either disappear all by itself (it's true!) or it will cease to be a problem for you because you will view it in a different light.

Sounds wonderful doesn't it? I know you all think that your situation is unique, that no-one has ever been as unlucky as you, they've never suffered the way you have, they all had better breaks and lesser problems to deal with. It's not true - everyone, and I mean everyone, has felt like that at some time or another. Eventually, usually by accident, we stumble across the answer and if we are lucky we walk away with some kind of understanding of why that had to happen in our lives.

I would like to help you to learn how to take back control ofyour life. Instead of blindly marching on being knocked about by fate, keeping your head down and your fingers crossed, hoping that if you say nothing and upset no-one then you'll come out the other side relatively unscathed. Well, that's not how it works and usually when you adopt this plan you get stuck and you never do come out the other side. You spend your whole life compromising, and feeling cheated, and wishing you had acted when you had the chance.

It's never too late to act. You can make your life better whether you are 19 or 99. It does not matter what sort of hand you are dealt when you are born - black, white, male, female, rich or poor. What matters is what you choose to do with the cards you are dealt. We are all given gifts and handicaps in equal measure. Don't waste your life wishing you were in someone else's shoes - nobody ever knows what goes on behind closed doors - wife beating, alcohol addiction, depression, infertility, unrequited love - do you really want their life? What is so bad about yours?

Do you have your health? That's a huge gift - so many people would trade all their wealth and possessions just to enjoy a day without pain - never take it for granted. Do you have a happy marriage? Treasure it! Children? Give them all the love you have to spare and they will give it back when you need it most. Brains - are you smart? That's a special gift - use it to do some good. Compassion? A very rare gift - you are needed everywhere. Please don't just look for the drawbacks in your life, appreciate the gifts you have and focus on them.

I think that the key to finding happiness and success in your life is to open your eyes and really see what you already have. You are an amazing person, you are unique and you have a special reason for being on this earth. I want you to start really looking at your life, let go of old anger and hurt and sadness, leave it all in the past where it belongs. Let it all go. Now, you can start anew.

When you have dealt with the past (not as easy as it sounds!), you are free to look at the present with clearer vision. What is good about it? What is missing? What issues need to be tackled? Don't leave it to work itself out, that's how you got in this mess! A good place to start is by being honest with yourself and others. I don't care if you have always been the one who does the compromising, stand up for yourself - you are worth it! Don't be nasty about it, but do be firm.

Many people think that the earth will shatter and the world will fall into chaos if they change the habits of a lifetime! With each small confrontation you will grow stronger and your life will become ever so slightly better. Make small changes at first - take some time for yourself, go for walks, read books, listen to music only you enjoy. Remember who you really are, what you like, what your dreams were. You may, as I did, wonder how you can possibly change so many areas of your life. You make the changes one by one, and every day you take another step nearer where you want to be.

Sometimes people find themselves making the same mistakes over and over again - even when they set out to do things differently! I believe that the reason for this is that they have failed to see the lesson hidden in their problem. Whether you are fed up having no money, struggling to manage a job and family, or just plain tired all the time, you could be overlooking an important message.

You might not be progressing at work because you actually hate your job and really want to be a freelance gardener. Maybe you are feeling tired all the time because you always put other people's needs before your own and you have to bring more balance into your life. Partner not treating you with respect? Perhaps you need to learn to respect yourself first. Look for the reason and the problem will magically disappear.

If you dream of being an artist but spend your days working in a bank then it stands to reason that you will feel unhappy. Most of us overlook the obvious when searching for answers. You need to give yourself permission to follow your dreams, otherwise you will always wonder "What If?" People round about you will scoff when they see you attempting to be different and pursue your dreams, the changes you make will remind them that they are still trapped - most will try to stop you. Don't listen to them, instead show them how good life can be! Just think what you can achieve. Don't wait another minute, look for the hidden lessons in your life and start making those changes today.

Suzanne Green